My Happiness Is

My niece challenged people to tell what was “Happiness in their life”.  (By the way to enjoy a great entertaining blog log on to  http://takingnotescoasttocoast.blogspot.com and enjoy her life.  She’s very entertaining.)

Anyway, she asked what was Happiness in our life, so I thought I would tell my blog followers what is HAPPINESS IN MY LIFE:

First  there is nothing better than the happiness you feel when you have grandchildren!  When the first one is born it is an amazing experience.  My heart all but jumped out of my chest when I got the phone call and my son said listen to your grandson crying.  Oh God it was like a blessing from Heaven.  Now that he’s 12 years old he still makes my heart melt when I see or talk to him. 

Next I would say that Happiness is my second and third grandchildren.  It never gets boring.  The phone call when the precious life is born is a rush of adrenaline.  As seniors in this world, it is the best feeling ever.  My grandchildren unfortunately live a ways away from me.  So to see them on the new-fangled Skype and have them smile when they see you - it melts your heart. 

Next I would say that Happiness in my life is my husband Jim.  Not that he takes second place, but it’s a different feeling of happiness.  He has provided me a life of extraordinary experiences.  We traveled to places I may never see again.  He introduced me to his profession and made me feel special when we would go to work sites and he would have workers show me the operation.  He has always been compassionate and a wonderful spouse.  Life has been unfair to him by leaving him with the disabling disease of Dementia/Alzheimers.  My heart breaks whenever I think of what he had planned for his senior years and now what it has become.  He still makes me laugh and bring happiness to my life.

 


Of course one of the biggest forms of happiness is your children.  Giving birth, raising and letting go to their mature life is a beautiful part of happiness in my life.  Of course there are tough times but the good times out weigh those with pride and joy for the  lives you have created.  As adults I couldn't be more proud and happy with the men they have grown to be.

Happiness is also being fortunate to work in an environment that you enjoy.  The office I work in is great.  We are all women and our work environment can be hectic but is rarely stressful.  Although it is a job and you work for a paycheck, we are a unique family of caring and generous people.  It's hard to find a place to work that is enjoyable but I have just that. 

There are many things that bring happiness to my life.  It's not one or two things, it's a culmination of everything and everyone involved in my life.  My children, their spouses, my neighbors, my pets, etc., etc., etc.

Happiness is what you make it.  You can choose to be happy or you can allow yourself to be miserable, it's all how you deal with things. 

It's been awhile since my last post.  I would like to tell you that it was because I was off traveling beautiful places but in reality I've been visiting my husband in a rehab every night and weekends.  Needless to say, I don't get home until late because I work during the day then go to the nursing home and then come home.  By that time my brain is fried and the thought of putting something creative on paper is the furthest from my mind.

Jim was admitted to the hospital last night.  I can't say I'm disappointed because I've been putting a lot of effort into getting him moved to a better environment.  So while he is in the hospital, I am hoping that I can work on this with some determination and get him placed where they actually take care of you.  I have realized that life isn't something to take for granted. Your dreams for the future can be squashed in an instant, especially when you least expect change. Plan for the future but don't forget the now. Live like today it might be your last.  

 In the meantime our dog Archie is bored waiting for dad to come home  and our cat Anya is patiently waiting for dad to come home to share his yogurt.

Bye for now, it's actually hard for me to keep my eyes open!!!!!!!!!!!

The Golden Years Really Suck

It’s been a while since I posted, for a couple of reasons; I don’t seem to have the time with working and visiting the nursing home, caring for the house and animals, laundry and such AND it’s hard for me to find something positive to write about that I want to share!

I don’t want my blog to be a depressing conglomeration of feeling sorry for myself and what life has dished me.  I think it should be a cute informative synopsis of what is happening in your life and sharing stories that others can relate to and find to be an interesting read.  Unfortunately lately I have not had many “cute” moments.

But perhaps my “informative synopsis” can be shared and related to by other adults that are challenged with the care of either a parent or a spouse.   Maybe if I share the” frustrations” I have of getting quality care for a person I love, readers in the same situation won’t feel alone. Possibly my experiences dealing with this problem can help or bring ideas for others in the same position.

From what I am gathering in my quest to have my husband cared for, facilities are overcrowded.  Beds are just not readily available (unless you are a cash up front to the tune of $10000 monthly) except in places that you really don’t want your loved one.   The energy you use to deal with that “unacceptable” place until you can find a bed in the “desirable” place is exhausting.   Oh, and on that note, the realization occurred to me that in order for a bed to become available in the “desirable” place I believe someone has to have lost their life battle.  Now that in itself is depressing!!!!!!!!!!!

I have daily discussions with nurses, aides, dietitians and administration regarding the lack of attention, disregard to cleanliness, eating habits, incorporating rules to make it easier to leave him alone,  and now when I walk onto the floor I feel the icy chill of employees who have been attacked and would like to stick a knife in my juggler.

It is difficult to see your loved one deteriorating right before you.  The sparkle of their eyes gone, their motivation lost.   I feel guilty every time I leave because he looks so alone.   

I have spent countless hours researching other facilities, spoken to several and filled out forms for consideration.   Of course as I said before, beds are scarce but at least I’m on waiting lists.  I pray to God that one of them comes through before something horrible happens.   Or as solemn as this sounds, perhaps God will rescue Jim from this hell he’s living on earth to be rewarded in his Kingdom of heaven.  Either alternative is heartbreaking!  

Pray for peace for Jim and strength and perseverance for me AND send needed suggestions!!!!!!!!!!!!