The Golden Years Really Suck

It’s been a while since I posted, for a couple of reasons; I don’t seem to have the time with working and visiting the nursing home, caring for the house and animals, laundry and such AND it’s hard for me to find something positive to write about that I want to share!

I don’t want my blog to be a depressing conglomeration of feeling sorry for myself and what life has dished me.  I think it should be a cute informative synopsis of what is happening in your life and sharing stories that others can relate to and find to be an interesting read.  Unfortunately lately I have not had many “cute” moments.

But perhaps my “informative synopsis” can be shared and related to by other adults that are challenged with the care of either a parent or a spouse.   Maybe if I share the” frustrations” I have of getting quality care for a person I love, readers in the same situation won’t feel alone. Possibly my experiences dealing with this problem can help or bring ideas for others in the same position.

From what I am gathering in my quest to have my husband cared for, facilities are overcrowded.  Beds are just not readily available (unless you are a cash up front to the tune of $10000 monthly) except in places that you really don’t want your loved one.   The energy you use to deal with that “unacceptable” place until you can find a bed in the “desirable” place is exhausting.   Oh, and on that note, the realization occurred to me that in order for a bed to become available in the “desirable” place I believe someone has to have lost their life battle.  Now that in itself is depressing!!!!!!!!!!!

I have daily discussions with nurses, aides, dietitians and administration regarding the lack of attention, disregard to cleanliness, eating habits, incorporating rules to make it easier to leave him alone,  and now when I walk onto the floor I feel the icy chill of employees who have been attacked and would like to stick a knife in my juggler.

It is difficult to see your loved one deteriorating right before you.  The sparkle of their eyes gone, their motivation lost.   I feel guilty every time I leave because he looks so alone.   

I have spent countless hours researching other facilities, spoken to several and filled out forms for consideration.   Of course as I said before, beds are scarce but at least I’m on waiting lists.  I pray to God that one of them comes through before something horrible happens.   Or as solemn as this sounds, perhaps God will rescue Jim from this hell he’s living on earth to be rewarded in his Kingdom of heaven.  Either alternative is heartbreaking!  

Pray for peace for Jim and strength and perseverance for me AND send needed suggestions!!!!!!!!!!!!