My Prayers Weren't Answered

How do you crawl out of the trenches when the enemy keeps you a prisoner in them?  I certainly thought that I was on the road to an OK future over the past 2 weeks,  I saw significant improvement in Jim with his ability to stand with minimal assist, transfer from his wheel chair to his bed with almost no help and a bright colorful look on his face when I would see him.

A few days ago when I went to see him the aide was getting him ready for bed.  He had a hard time pulling himself to a standing position for her to clean him up.  He concerned not only me but the aide was taken aback by his weakness.  She got him into his wheel chair and over to the bed when he would normally have stood and turn by himself and sit on the bed to swing his legs up.  Not tonight!  He needed her assistance and mine to get him transferred to the bed.  My heart was sinking.

Yesterday the physical therapist asked for a meeting with me where she updated me on his decline and how concerned she was for his return home.  She said he went from walking around the whole floor with just her hand steadying him to not being able to get out of his chair without 2 people assisting and could only walk about 10 feet. 

Why??????  He has told me he doesn't think he is getting better even though I encourage him with how much improvement I have seen in him.  Loretto is going to call in the orthopedic doc about his arm and his hip and call in the neurologist to see if there is more happening neurologically that would have induced the decline.

For now Jim will be staying where he is.  Thank God the people there are pleasant, helpful and family.  I hate this decision but know that I can't control the inevitable

I'm sad,   I had hopes over the past few weeks that Jim was moving in a positive direction physically to be able to come back home, if even for awhile.  I really was not ready to live without him.  I know he wouldn't be ready to live life like this. 

For now Jim will be staying where he is.  Thank God the people there are pleasant, helpful and family.  I even feel connected there.  I pray every day that things will change.  I hope I can count on a little mention in your prayer requests for a day when Jim will be able to come back home.